Okay….
I feel like I can’t explain Brandon until I explain Ryan first. My older sister took the same adult program I took just a year before. This program is where she met her fiancée and where she met who would soon be one of my best friends. Over the course of a year Ryan and I became really close after we met, I knew he had feelings for me but I made it clear more than once that I was not interested in a relationship, he was however a great support and always there when I needed him. Even though I had given him many opportunities to end our friendship he was sure that he still wanted to remain friends.
Okay now we can move on to Brandon. I met him through some mutual friends, and from the moment we met we had what I thought was a strong connection. Everything moved fast in our relationship, I fell for him fast, he said he loved me. About a month and a half into our relationship, I get a phone call at 10:00 a.m. Brandon had been severely hurt at work and I was the one he wanted with him at the hospital. With my daughter at daycare I quickly got to the hospital to be with him. His injury was bad, he needed surgery and months of rehab, he wasn’t going to be able to take care of himself, and since his parents lived hours away that was not an option. He would be on disability leave from work for the summer at least, meaning not only would he be unable to take care of himself, he wouldn’t have enough money to support himself. Well I was stupid enough to allow him to stay with me. It was only supposed to be a temporary situation for a month or so until he could do things for himself again. Well it was 3 months, and by then we were so used to living with each other and Riley was comfortable with him that we decided to find a bigger place to live. With my acceptance into a university and Student Loans making me un-eligible for other financial help, it made the most sense for us to help each other financially and at least have a 2 bedroom apartment while doing it.
In the beginning of September we moved into a 2 bedroom apartment together. I thought things would be they were at my old place, but they weren’t. His friends were over all the time… Drinking and playing video games .. I would cook and clean and go to school to take care of them and work part-time , and it all just became too much. Our relationship was falling apart, we fought almost everyday for a while until we just didn’t fight anymore and held everything back. Then eventually one of us would explode. Once he was able to go back to work things started working out a little bit better, or that’s what I thought. One day he came home from work and we sat down and ate, and put Riley to bed, and we were talking about how some things needed to change or we weren’t going to work, which we had both agreed we didn’t want. So I told him to go out with his friends for a bit and we can talk when he comes home again.. two hours later, our mutual friend calls me and tell me he is sorry to hear about Brandon and I. Yea… I found out that we were breaking up from someone other than my boyfriend…. Needless to say I think I went a little nuts, I was so mad, I was in hysterics.
Since it was his apartment technically and I was just an occupant, I had to find a place to stay. My mom would not take me in, no one really would. Assistance would not cover me until I was no longer receiving Student Loan, I couldn’t work evenings anymore because I had no one to watch Riley, and I wasn’t getting any day time hours because of my school schedule. I dropped out of school, I tried to work as much as I could during the day for the first few weeks so I could get out of the apartment, but 10-20 hours a week wasn’t working… so I was stuck… When Christmas came I was distraught, how was I suppose to give my daughter a Christmas without any money. Ryan volunteered to help, I told him no at first, but he convinced me to let him help, and for my daughter I was desperate. Thank you Ryan.
During the 2 months that I lived there with him I slept on the couch, while he came and went, hooked up with random girls, and blamed me when they didn’t work out. I cleaned up after him and everyone else that came through the apartment, just hoping that this would give us place to live until I could get on my feet. On New Years Eve, I started getting hurtful text messages, it turns out he had been getting back together with his ex, and she was trying to stir up trouble. I was heart-broken and lost. A good friend that I will call Cliff came to my aid with his girlfriend, hey stayed with me until I couldn’t cry anymore. The next day Brandon calls to apologize to me for her behaviour, and to tell me I need to be out by the end of the day. After call after call, Cliff and his family welcomed Riley and I with open arms. In 2 days we had all of our stuff packed up, into a storage unit and some at Cliffs.
Riley and I shared a 12*12 room for 4 months… that’s how long it took to get me up on my feet. For the first 2 months I guess I was down and out; I functioned like a robot.Ryan took me where I needed to go everyday and tried to talk to me. See to me I knew this was my fault, I made a horrible mistake with Brandon, but I went from having everything going for me, to having nothing but misery. I tried to work but I couldn’t get enough hours to support us or a job really. Until assistance said they would help me out again. When they finally agreed I found a cozy 2 bedroom apartment for really cheap in a good area. Through it all Ryan was there to support me, he helped me move twice, he helped me with my daughter, her helped me pay for daycare, he helped me do everything that I just couldn’t, he even stayed with me the first night and the second and the third after I moved into my new place. I had just been through my lowest of low points in my life and when I was coming out of it the person holding my hand was Ryan.
When he asked me to give him a chance, who was I to say no, but I made it clear that it would not be serious until I knew I could feel for him the way he felt for me. Well… here it is a year and a half later, I finished a college program, my daughter is amazing , and Ryan and I are Happy and I love him more than I ever thought I could love anyone besides my daughter. He is amazing to me, he is amazing to my daughter, and he is the one person in this world I can count on above anyone else.
Single Parent Talk 